Author: B&#38;S Staff Page 6 of 9

On May 12, 2024

By Edie Worrell

JRC- Grinnell College’s premier student-run event committee has recently announced their decision to expand. “Weekend,” as they are called, was formed last year, after its creator, Whistle Hornblower, noticed a lack of overly expensive events on the campus.

“I created Weekend after I noticed that all of the students’ event fees were only being given to these smaller, less worthy student-run organizations,” explained Hornblower, “I thought to myself– hey! Why do they get to hoard all of the activity fee money? Shouldn’t we add some more lavish events to outdo these weak little organizations? Like, “Bird Club.” What even is that, anyways? A club for birds? Pretty sure they have one of those already. It’s called a flock.”

Student Involvement to Spend Entire Budget on Tesla Cybertruck

On May 12, 2024

By Chris Cardenas

JRC- In a move that surely had the entire student body stunned, the administration announced a bold new direction for the controversial Student Publications & Radio Committee (SPARC) budget. Apparently, the days of paper cuts are over, because according to those in the know, the B&S is about to be cruising the streets of Grinnell in style. In a $90,000 Tesla Cybertruck, that is.

Annual Bachelor of Arts Exhibition Opens

By Liv Hage

Bucksbaum:

April 12, 2024

As the annual Bachelor of Arts exhibition known as ‘BAX’ approaches, a herd of miscellaneous art majors race to finish and install their pieces. While traditionally, students compete for prizes such as ‘Best in Show’, this year the juror has introduced a few new categories such as “Most Deranged”, “What the actual Fuck”, and “Why…just WHY”. These prizes may seem strange, but they were in fact created specifically for the unique body of work that will be featured in the show.

In an interview with the B&S, museum director Billy Beans Burger commented, “This is by far the most unhinged lineup we’ve had, I haven’t seen anything like this since the vulture corpse installation in 1988”. Beans Burger is not overreacting. After being granted a private tour of the exhibition, our arts reporter Luella Peregrine 25’ went insane. Since the tour, she has locked herself in her dorm and only communicates if she receives a bag of Harvest Cheddar Sunchips.

New Program: OCS – Grinnell Experimental Preschool

By Catherine Terelak

Grinnell College, the thirteenth-best liberal arts college in the country, is known for its academic rigor. In general, its students are smart, capable, hardworking, and always willing to meet intellectual challenges with curiosity and determination. But what about those who don’t possess those qualities and are still working on object permanence?

An increasing number of rising second-and third-year students are taking advantage of an exciting new program that allows Grinnell College students to study off-campus at the Grinnell Experimental Preschool, where they can spend a full year developing their fine and gross motor skills, exploring big feelings, doing craft projects, and taking naps.

Student Stares at Eclipse Without ‘Woke Glasses,’ Least Self-Destructive Thing He Did This Week

By Chris Cardenas

In a stunning display of questionable decision-making, Eli Hertz ‘25 took a break from his usual self-destructive activities to stare directly at the solar eclipse without using the recommended “woke glasses.” Friends of Hertz report that he had been on poppers, had minimal sleep, and was likely the reason why Kington Plaza smelled, making his eclipse-viewing experience just another day in the life of a typical CS major.

“I stepped outside to see what the big fuss was about and I immediately thought to myself, ‘holy shit’!” Hertz reported. “I have never seen such beauty unfold before my eyes.” Sources close to Hertz report that this was just his reaction to finally stepping outside rather than an actual sighting of the eclipse, which had yet to commence.

Egg from Weekend’s Easter Egg Hunt Hatches CAFO Chicken

By Edie Worrell

3rd FLOOR JRC– During the week of 4/1, as students gathered back to Grinnell’s campus after an enjoyable two-week long Spring break, finalized by Easter Sunday one college organization announced the beginning of a beloved tradition to take place over the next ten days. Weekend, the college’s premier Weekend organization, began the tradition of a week-and-a-half-long Easter egg hunt throughout the college’s academic buildings after a successful stint last Spring. With students unlocking their dorms and turning back to their work– they were pleased to see an email from the organization announcing the first eggs had been hidden.

Weekend hid the eggs in the early hours of the morning– before any Grinnellians had yet to awake. Eggs, labeled as either “Tier 1, tier 2, or tier 3,” would come with prizes inside depending on their level. Tier 1 eggs would be full of trinkets, while Tier 2 and 3 eggs had a numbered ticket inside them redeemable at certain hours– with prizes ranging from Elf Bars to Higher Hourly Wages. With the email sent to every student’s inbox– the games had begun.

Academic Advising Introduces New Grading System

By Josh Payong

STEINER HALL – “I had no idea how well I was doing in my Philosophy 309 class (The Moral Ramifications of the Foot Fetish) until I got an academic alert,” says Haas Bin ‘24, “but it only confused me more, like what the fuck am I supposed to do if I’m ‘tweaking’ like an ‘Ohio resident post-Grimace Shake’?”

In a recent attempt by Grinnell College staff to relate to the incoming Gen Alpha prospective student demographic, many of the school’s resources and facilities have undergone massive overhauls. In the process, the generational gap between current students of younger and older cohorts has only fuelled the division.

Vivek Ramaswamy Comes Back to Grinnell Again Just to Feel Something

By Bohdin Bright

SAINTS REST — While Vivek’s first and second visits to Grinnell were obvious, due to the national news scandal and the destruction of High Street respectively, the third is much easier to overlook. Nestled amidst townsfolk and recently-caffeinated students sits a sad man in a disheveled suit, quietly sipping a dirty chai latte and staring at a photo of Donald Trump in a locket; a far cry from the energetic presidential candidate of just a few weeks ago.

Dear Binston Swongo: How Can I Run a Successful Business?