Category: advice Page 1 of 2

By Astrid Utting

Editor’s note: format shamelessly stolen from the sage advice account,  @greatadviceforshittypeople, which is exactly what a shitty Grinnellian would do

Grinnell prides itself on self-gov, our sacred belief that students can govern themselves. Unfortunately, some Grinnellians take these liberties too far. In the vein of self-gov, the B&S presents the following great advice for shitty Grinnellians:

Reserve a HSSC room with a single airpod

Venmo request your classmate after they borrow a pencil

Email Loose grilled cheese feedback on their cooking. CC admin. 

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By Dale Bell

Plat Du Jour: You enjoy missionary sex and once referred to the Beef Bourguignon as “ethnic food”. Your first-year friend group still meets for dinner three times a week. You have never felt real emotion.

Honor G. Grill: You’re obsessed with investment. You think that sometimes with regard to gender/racial equality, the pendulum has swung too far in the opposite direction. You build your identity around a sports team that got blown out 85-3 last fall.

Pizza Parlor: As a child, you thought being a grown-up meant eating pizza at every meal. You were right. You are a happy and well-adjusted person and will continue to be until you die at 35.

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By Edie Worrell  

JRC– Grinnellians, the time has come upon us, yet again, to werk. Finals season begins, and we retreat to the darkness of Burling 4th floor to complete our tasks. The B&S notices your struggles, dear students, and thus we offer an extended hand. This year, we bring you a completely realistic, entirely helpful guide to surviving hell week. These tips and tricks are numbered from easiest to most drastic changes you can make in your life in order to better yourself and your academics. See below:

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By Catherine Terelak

This holiday season, our families are more divided than ever. Your sister has embraced a tradwife lifestyle, your mother is seeking a grand unifying theory about lizard people, and your brother has taken his children out of school and sent them to the mines. Your grandparents are fucking their couch, your coworkers are rallying to stop the war on oil and natural gas, and a new dog translation app has just revealed that your childhood pet is eating ethnic minorities. If you’re a Democrat with plans to spend Thanksgiving with loved ones who voted for Trump, see this official resource guide from the Biden Administration:

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By Bella Takata

We were going to write something fun this week, but since you all insist on behaving in this manner we cannot.
Due to recent events, the B&S has decided to compile a list of the best places to poop on campus. We hope that these will be suitable alternatives to the walls in Norris Second. My dear fellow first years, I am looking at you, and I am concerned. So, out of the goodness of our hearts, here are the B&S’s top 12 places to poop on campus. Please use this as inspiration to improve your behavior. Or maybe you enjoyed this. You freaks.

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By Dale Bell

GRINNELL, IA—We here at the B&S, while universally recognized as a titan of hard-hitting investigative journalism, have, for a brief moment, decided to come down from our austere offices on Burling 5th to participate in the wild bacchanal of soft pop-culture journalism usually dominated by inferior publications such as the S&B, Gogue, and GUM (although, for GUM, we can only assume, as none of our investigative prowess could actually uncover what they do). TREMBLE BEFORE OUR LIST OF THE INS AND OUTS OF DORM DECOR.

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By Catherine Terelak

Sick of the same, tired old self-explanatory costumes? Looking for something a bit more outré, avant-garde, out-there? Perhaps an excuse to hold an acquaintance hostage for five to eight drunk minutes, because you think you’re very funny? Look no further! Lucky for you, the B&S has compiled this comprehensive list of liberal arts costumes for people who love explaining things. 

Do you want to be something “sexy,” except you’re not like other girls? Try “slutting up” a widely disliked female political figure, like Hillary Clinton, former British Prime Minister Liz Truss, or Janet Reno, the U.S. Attorney General considered responsible for the events at Waco. A vag-grazingly short skirtsuit, a structural bob, and an arsenal of cold hard lies should suffice. 

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By Catherine Terelak

With the holidays fast approaching, many Grinnellians are anxiously anticipating the big return home. If you fall into this camp, don’t fear! Shifting from GR to HR* while you’re still on campus is a fantastic way to practice interacting with relatives you haven’t seen in months. Here are just a few helpful tips, so you can use the power of reality shifting to make this holiday season go as smoothly as possible! 

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