Grinnell's Bastion of Journalistic Integrity

Month: April 2024

Annual Bachelor of Arts Exhibition Opens

By Liv Hage


April 12, 2024

As the annual Bachelor of Arts exhibition known as ‘BAX’ approaches, a herd of miscellaneous  art majors race to finish and install their pieces. While traditionally, students compete for prizes such as ‘Best in Show’, this year the juror has introduced a few new categories such as “Most Deranged”, “What the actual Fuck”, and “Why…just WHY”. These prizes may seem strange, but they were in fact created specifically for the unique body of work that will be featured in the show.

 In an interview with the B&S, museum director Billy Beans Burger commented, “This is by far the most unhinged lineup we’ve had, I haven’t seen anything like this since the vulture corpse installation in 1988”. Beans Burger is not overreacting. After being granted a private tour of the exhibition, our arts reporter Luella Peregrine 25’  went insane. Since the tour, she has locked herself in her dorm and only communicates if she receives a bag of Harvest Cheddar Sunchips. 

New Program: OCS – Grinnell Experimental Preschool

By Catherine Terelak

Grinnell College, the thirteenth-best liberal arts college in the country, is known for its academic rigor. In general, its students are smart, capable, hardworking, and always willing to meet intellectual challenges with curiosity and determination. But what about those who don’t possess those qualities and are still working on object permanence? 

An increasing number of rising second-and third-year students are taking advantage of an exciting new program that allows Grinnell College students to study off-campus at the Grinnell Experimental Preschool, where they can spend a full year developing their fine and gross motor skills, exploring big feelings, doing craft projects, and taking naps. 

Student Stares at Eclipse Without ‘Woke Glasses,’ Least Self-Destructive Thing He Did This Week

By Chris Cardenas

In a stunning display of questionable decision-making, Eli Hertz ‘25 took a break from his usual self-destructive activities to stare directly at the solar eclipse without using the recommended “woke glasses.” Friends of Hertz report that he had been on poppers, had minimal sleep, and was likely the reason why Kington Plaza smelled, making his eclipse-viewing experience just another day in the life of a typical CS major.

“I stepped outside to see what the big fuss was about and I immediately thought to myself, ‘holy shit’!” Hertz reported. “I have never seen such beauty unfold before my eyes.” Sources close to Hertz report that this was just his reaction to finally stepping outside rather than an actual sighting of the eclipse, which had yet to commence.

Egg from Weekend’s Easter Egg Hunt Hatches CAFO Chicken

By Edie Worrell

3rd FLOOR JRC– During the week of 4/1, as students gathered back to Grinnell’s campus after an enjoyable two-week long Spring break, finalized by Easter Sunday one college organization announced the beginning of a beloved tradition to take place over the next ten days. Weekend, the college’s premier Weekend organization, began the tradition of a week-and-a-half-long Easter egg hunt throughout the college’s academic buildings after a successful stint last Spring. With students unlocking their dorms and turning back to their work– they were pleased to see an email from the organization announcing the first eggs had been hidden.

Weekend hid the eggs in the early hours of the morning– before any Grinnellians had yet to awake. Eggs, labeled as either “Tier 1, tier 2, or tier 3,” would come with prizes inside depending on their level. Tier 1 eggs would be full of trinkets, while Tier 2 and 3 eggs had a numbered ticket inside them redeemable at certain hours– with prizes ranging from Elf Bars to Higher Hourly Wages. With the email sent to every student’s inbox– the games had begun.

Academic Advising Introduces New Grading System

By Josh Payong

STEINER HALL – “I had no idea how well I was doing in my Philosophy 309 class (The Moral Ramifications of the Foot Fetish) until I got an academic alert,” says Haas Bin ‘24, “but it only confused me more, like what the fuck am I supposed to do if I’m ‘tweaking’ like an ‘Ohio resident post-Grimace Shake’?”

In a recent attempt by Grinnell College staff to relate to the incoming Gen Alpha prospective student demographic, many of the school’s resources and facilities have undergone massive overhauls. In the process, the generational gap between current students of younger and older cohorts has only fuelled the division.

Vivek Ramaswamy Comes Back to Grinnell Again Just to Feel Something

By Bohdin Bright

SAINTS REST — While Vivek’s first and second visits to Grinnell were obvious, due to the national news scandal and the destruction of High Street respectively, the third is much easier to overlook. Nestled amidst townsfolk and recently-caffeinated students sits a sad man in a disheveled suit, quietly sipping a dirty chai latte and staring at a photo of Donald Trump in a locket; a far cry from the energetic presidential candidate of just a few weeks ago.

Dear Binston Swongo: How Can I Run a Successful Business?

By Jude Morgan

Dear Binston Swongo, 

I’ve reached my breaking point. As a small business owner, I believe fully that this cruel and terrible world has it out for honest people trying to make a living. I started off as a humble arms manufacturer, just trying to make a buck and change helping out the common folk. Yet as of late, it seems as if society looks down upon hard workers like myself, choosing to favor more trendy ideas such as “ethics” and “workers’ rights” and “undergraduate labor unions”. It pains me even further to see the once great institution Grinnell fall down this path. What’s next? Paid leave? I shudder at the thought. 

Despite my many qualms I still continue to exceed profit margins beyond my wildest dreams, but deep down my feelings are hurt. How can I sleep at night knowing that there is no hope for the preservation of tradition? 

– A Morally Ambiguous Alum 

Purpose of Forbidden Registration Button Still Unknown

By Amelia Vrieze

JCC- After the failed attempted rollout of the preregistration system for next fall’s classes last Wednesday, students began to notice the appearance of a mysterious button on the registration page. Labeled only with a warning to not click it, this button intrigued, tempted, and bewildered many students. 

Of course, the first thing any normal person would do when presented with a forbidden button would be to immediately click the button. However, many stressed out college students, worried that this choice might ruin their chances of getting their chosen classes, took the safe, (boring) route. They were left to wonder what would’ve happened if they took the leap. Due to this uncertainty, playground rumors began spreading about what the button did.

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