By Elke Calhoun
Campus opp getting your goat? Ex-situationship who won’t make eye contact with you in D-hall? We’ve got you covered—literally.
Introducing The Vultures of Vengeance, Grinnell’s premier avian mercenary bomb squad, available for hire to solve your most pressing problems with precision, splatter, and a little bit of humiliation. For $50 a shit, or for one Global Cafe dirty chai, the power of turkey vulture defecation is all yours!
