Grinnell's Bastion of Journalistic Integrity

Month: February 2023

Psych Major Confused Why Inkblot Test Just Grad School Rejection Letters

By: B&S Staff

GRINNELL, IA—Expressing frustration about why his class would include such distressing images, a Grinnell psychology major was reportedly confused yesterday as to why the unit on Hermann Rorschach’s eponymous inkblot test was just a series of pictures of rejection letters from prominent graduate programs around the country. 

The student, Neal Adams `23, is a psychology major enrolled in Professor Marian Galli’s PSY-410-01: The History of Psychoanalysis spoke with B&S reporters in one of several exclusive interviews given to news sources after his ordeal: 

Honorary Degree Recipient Furious To Learn It’s In Art History

By: Dale Bell

GRINNELL, IA—Early yesterday, Enya Strathclyde, a recipient of one of Grinnell’s 2023 honorary degrees, was reportedly furious to learn that the degree awarded to her was in the field of Art History. Strathclyde, a pioneering woman in computer science and inventor of the Ctrl key, initially viewed her honorary degree from Grinnell as “a beautiful way in which life comes full circle,” in reference to her 1924 expulsion from the College after accidentally burning down West Campus. However, after Strathclyde discovered the degree’s field, she has come to view the supposed honor as more of a “sick fucking joke.”

The B&S was able to secure an interview with Strathclyde after she kicked down the door to our offices, apoplectic with rage, looking for Grinnell College President Anne Harris.

Grinnell Declared Failed State

By Ethan Hughes

Last Saturday, the United Nations took the drastic step of declaring Grinnell a failed state. After last semester’s failure to form a Student Senate the Student Government Association (SGA) has gained unchecked executive power. They can do anything they want. It’s too much power in the hands of too few, and, in the immortal words of B&S founder Selden Whitcomb “absolute power corrupts absolutely.” The founding fathers of Grinnell, Dr. Gregory HSSC, Paul Skin, and the Noyce guy would have been appalled if they were here to see this dereliction of duty. Self-Gov is as dead as they are, probably, we honestly don’t know. The B&S is not allowed to speak for the probably deceased, at least not since we lost the ouija board, but we are sure they are rolling in their graves, or ashes, or beds if they are in fact not dead. 

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