By Edie Worrell

YOUR BORING HOMETOWN– Here at the B&S we understand that the holiday season can be a struggle for many, many reasons– fighting the urge to booty call your ex, admitting to your parents how much money you spent at I80-Dhaba, (finally) getting STD tested, and having to interact with all the miscellaneous characters in your family in one setting, can all be a lot. Especially your family. Conversing with these people is hard. We can’t really offer any advice on that domain. But we can advise you on the proper presents to award these specific family and friends with! 

Without further ado, we at the B&S present to you: The B&S’s Complete and FINAL Holiday Gift Guide 2025*

* To make it easier for you, we’ve broken up the gift giving into specific archetypes we staff writers have seen in our own communities and brainstormed some delicious ideas for you to pick from. You’re welcome.

  1. Wellness sister
  • A shirt from your closet. It’s basically hers at this point, anyway. 
  • Cucumbers and ice.
  1. Annoying younger brother
  • Nothing. Cunt.
  1. Inappropriate Uncle
  • A kiss on the cheek! 
  • An introduction to sniffies.com 
  • Offer to show him how to use Canva.com and see what happens (no promises).
  1. Mother that is a bit too into AI
  • A phone call. If you are an estranged 20-something-year-old, it’s the only way to get her to stop posting on YouTube under the handle “doorstopmom.”  
  • Full-length anime body pillow. 
  1. Dad who is probably gay
  • Weed. 
  • Hand-dipped taper beeswax candles from Etsy.
  1. Grandma who refuses to wear her hearing aids
  • A curated playlist.
  • A promise to call her more than once every 3 months. 
  1. Aunt with undiagnosed OCD
  • Xanax are pretty easy to come by if you just lie and say your dog is anxious. Take the pills from Buddy and put them in a cutie container for Aunty, problem solved! 
  • The name of your drug dealer. Once she gets hooked she’s gonna need this. Buddy only gets so many refills a year.
  1. Cousin that you see twice a year and is lowkey a chiller
  • Your presence is enough <3
  • Maybe some weed to help take the edge off from OCD aunt…
  1. Dead grandpa
  • This one’s easy! He won’t even be there!
  1. Work bestie that you’ll never see again after this fiscal year
  • Matching tumblers with Cricut cutouts of each other’s names on each.
  1. Inappropriately aged girlfriend of inappropriate uncle
  • The number of your therapist. Maybe some of that xanax, too.
  1. Your grin-situationship
  • A “what are we?” text the day before you leave for break. Let’s keep these good vibes going… 
  1. High school friends that you pretend you’re still close to
  • Idk man. This one is kind of sad. Sometimes you have to let people go. That’s the way life is, you know? And that’s the beauty of it. People will come and go, but their memories will last forever. Don’t beat yourself up. New opportunities and people await you. Go forth, Grinnellian.

We hope this helped. Grinnellians, don’t go too crazy this winter! Remember to stay warm, stay calm, and smoke as much weed as possible before you have to start doing homework again. Get stupid!