HIGH STREET–This week, many Grinnell fourth-years enjoyed a longstanding tradition of the institution. The 100 Days party marks (approximately) 100 days until graduation and represents, for many of the graduating class, a last chance to drink, revel, and finally lock lips with any long-standing crushes. Traditionally, 100 Days has used a wristband system, allowing students to mark whether they are interested in being approached to make out or are boring pussies. This year, party organizers decided to expand the system, incorporating several different colors of wristband. The B&S sent two undercover journalists to the event, and were able to deduce much of the system. Wristband options included:

  • Single
  • Taken
  • Taken but available to make out
  • Taken but looking for something better
  • Ask me about my elaborate philosophy on ethical non-monogamy
  • Available to make out if you can answer my riddles three
  • I have mono (individuals with this wristband will be asked to only swap spit with others wearing the same wristband)
  • I have COVID (same policy as above. Individuals with COVID are asked to “maybe stay home if you can, but like, it’s whatever.”)
  • I’m a biter
  • T4T
  • Available to make out but only if you can tell me where you were on the night of February 22nd, 2022 and corroborate your alibi with at least two witnesses
  • Bi-curious, but only if my boyfriend can watch
  • 0 title IX convictions
  • Taken but available to play a friendly game of Magic: The Gathering
  • On October 8th, 2014 I was involved in a hit-and-run car accident 5 miles North of Cody, Wyoming. My heart stopped beating for 35 seconds. My life was saved by a bystander, who called 911 and performed CPR. I never got their name, but I remember that they were wearing a fuchsia colored baseball cap. If you know this person, please help me find them and thank them for this second chance at life.
  • Single and available to play a sexually charged game of Magic: The Gathering
  • It’s complicated

Fourth-years report that the party was a night to remember, with one party participant telling one of our reporters, “Hey, we were in tutorial together and I always thought you were like really cute and there was that one night that we danced together at 9:30 PM sharp at the first Harris of the year because we were the only two people who showed up the moment it started because we were young and didn’t know any better and it was really sweet in an awkward sort of way but I was still with my toxic high school boyfriend back then so obviously I never said anything, I just stared at the back of your head every tuesday and thursday at 8:30 AM, but like maybe there could have been something there, you know? In another world? Hey, wanna maybe come back to my place tonight?”

At this point, our reporting on the event ends, as our second reporter also left the function shortly afterward, stating, “It was a stupid, immature party anyway, and I didn’t even want to kiss anyone. What am I, a middle schooler playing spin the bottle? I just went as a joke. I could pull anyone on this campus, if I wanted to. Which I don’t.”