By Bella Nesbeth

GRINNELL, IOWA – Every student knows the unfortunate moment when they carve two hours out of their busy Grinnell schedules and lug their laundry baskets down to the basement of their residence hall just for there to be no open machines. In fact, some of the machines have the same clothes in them as last week! They weigh their options. Wait, accept defeat, or remove someone else’s soggy boxers from the machine. All three options are inconvenient. At the B&S, the pinnacle of journalistic integrity, we decided to get to the bottom of this mystery. Why do people leave their laundry in the machines? 

B&S reporters canvassed south campus, the residence hall where all of Grinnell’s anomalies live, and interviewed the first three students that were dumb enough to make eye contact with us. 

Our first victim was Maddie Beamer, class of ’26. Beamer, clad in mismatched socks and contradicting patterns, seemed to be wearing the outfit of someone who was currently doing laundry. 

B&S: Maddie, do you ever leave your laundry in the machines for an extended period of time? 

MB: No! I would never do that!

B&S: Where is your laundry right now? 

MB: Uh, I have to go.  

Beamer ran down to Main Hall and presumably got the laundry she forgot about.  

Our next victim was Jackson McGraw, class of ’24. The disheveled McGraw only stopped for us because he dropped a stack of papers on the ground, and I let my intrusive thoughts win and stepped on some of them. But don’t worry, I played it off as an accident. 

B&S: What is the longest that you have ever forgotten about your laundry?

JM: Three days. 

B&S: Damn, three days, what’s wrong with you?

JM: Well, I normally do my laundry on the weekends but one evening I decided to do it on a Tuesday night. When I moved my clothes to the dryer, I went to my room to wait. I must’ve forgotten to set a timer because the next thing I knew I had to get up and head to my 8:00 am. Three days later I realized I had no clothes left and that’s when it dawned on me, I left my laundry. Luckily when I went to retrieve it, it was still- 

B&S: Thanks for telling me your life story, but honestly, I don’t care anymore, you’ve said enough. Now run along now.  

McGraw scoffed and ran away. He dropped his papers again, but I didn’t feel like helping him this time. I had already done a good deed for the day. Doing two would be asking for too much. 

Our third mark was Allison Nguyen, who we caught trying to pick the lock on one of the bikes in the loggia.

B&S: What do you think drives people to leave their laundry in the washers and dryers for so long?

AN: Grinnell students are simply just super silly and asking them to complete a simple task like laundry can sometimes be too much for their one-track minds. Can you leave me alone, please? I’m very busy right now.

As the sun set on the illustrious south loggia, I decided to go home, as I had homework to do, and I was pretty sure the sheets I had thrown in the washer at dawn that morning were probably close to done. We solved the mystery; there you have it, that’s all folks!