Month: April 2022

By Jay Rommel-Ruiz

HSSC—Midterms coupled with the collapse of Burling Library has renewed discussion across campus concerning HSSC room use, resulting in the first-ever event to be held in the HSSC Auditorium—a series of speeches and debates on the ethics and etiquette of HSSC room use.

“Students are tired of wasting an entire afternoon looking for a place to study in the HSSC” the organizer of the event, Lyra Bubbler ‘25, told the B&S. “It’s not like 25live is of any use, even if a student has heard of it, the interface is almost as confusing as NOVAtime. Even if they manage to make a reservation, someone is going to be using the room by the time they get there.” Lyra went on to describe the shared abject horror, existential dread, and awkward terror every student feels at the prospect of talking to the lone stranger occupying an HSSC room. Lyra hopes the debate will be more insignificant, divisive, and vacuous than the presidential debates, Twitter, Facebook or YikYak.

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By Clare Newman

By all accounts, Greg Bottle-Lee and Stella Stevensons were the quintessential Grinnell couple. They met in tutorial, went on their first date to Dari Barn, met each others parents at parents weekend, dressed in a couples costume on halloween (Roy and Keeley from Ted Lasso, so cute), lost their virginities to each other in Stevensons’s Twin XL, and split their time between their respective dorm rooms: Bottle-Lee’s in Dibble and Stevensons’s in Haines. Their large group of mutual friends called them couple goals and named their big groupchat “Grella Vs. Steg,” a reference to differing opinions within the group on what the couple’s ship name should be. But that group chat was renamed last week, when Bottle-Lee and Stevensons broke up. “He has a goatee, it’s horrible!” Stevensons could barely get the words out through her sobs. “It was like going to the dentist, that’s what kissing her was like!” said Bottle-Lee, with a quiet voice and a vacant look in his eyes. When Grinnell College’s mask policy changed to mask-optional for the foreseeable future, Bottle-Lee and Stevensons thought this would be the perfect time to take the next step in their relationship: unmasking. Stevensons said she was originally super excited to “finally get to frenching that hot piece of ass,” but after only a minute of first-time tonsil hockey, Stevensons pulled away and gave Bottle-Lee an ultimatum: “shave that thing off right now or we’re breaking up.” 

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