Greetings, mortals. ‘Tis I, the Crimson Wizard of the Eastern Tropics. The blood of Myrddin Wyllt Emrys (or as laypeople refer to his eminence, “Merlin”) courses through my veins. However, my accomplishments transcend my lineage. I am acknowledged by the Oriental Mage Council as an advanced wielder of Conjuration, Abjuration, and Being Silly. I have also garnered a reputation in the potion-crafting sector as the only mystic arts wielder capable of finding the perfect balance between Kool-Aid powder and water. In pursuit of oneness with the natural world, I have avoided the pleasures of modern man, such as “showering”, for such a long time that my wizardly beard has evolved into a home for many a mystical beast (rats). My dislikes include newspapers without journalistic integrity, and oranges.