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Meet Grinnella GoForth, the American Girl Doll of the Year 2023!

By Catherine Terelak

Grinnella GoForth is a brooding intellectual from the wealthy suburbs of a major American city who has come all the way to Central Iowa to gain a top-notch liberal arts education. You’ll find her sitting in Saints Rest for hours without buying anything, taking long walks in the cornfields with one of her many polyamorous lovers, and reading theory on the third and fourth floors of Burling, where it’s private. 

Whether it’s Hawkeye or Natty Lite, Grinnella loves drinking. But can she find a way to kick it on High Street without jeopardizing her academic future as a sociology-theater double major with a concentration in film studies? It’s going to take some help from her three academic advisors and her friends at SHAW for Grinella to raise her GPA above   2.1 and save her spot on the synchronized swimming team. After all, the stars don’t touch themselves—Grinnella does. 

Premium Features of Grinnella: 

Grinnella has a soft cotton body from all the drinking. Her moveable head and limbs are made of smooth vinyl and may or may not be covered in mysterious bruises.

Grinnella’s hair is patently unhealthy. It was dyed green six months ago and is now home to three crows who come and go at will. So watch out for that—or don’t. Grinnella doesn’t really believe in authority. She’s not super into telling people what to do. 

Also Includes: 

  • Ambiguous sexuality and a she/they email signature. 
  • Apple products of the newest generation, all with shattered screens. 
  • Carhartt overalls and a long men’s coat from the 1940s, both worn ironically. 
  • Pockets full of loose cigarettes and old spent lighters found in Mac Field. 
  • Florida driver’s license that works at Almost Always Open but not Walmart.
  • Pioneer One Card with no swipes left. Can she borrow one of yours?
  • Dozens upon dozens of one-sided beefs with random people.  
  • Two Scholastic Silver Key awards for poetry, circa 2019. 
  • Taste in music that is ‘mostly just sounds.’ 
  • A very, very active presence on Discord. 
  • A difficult relationship with her father.
  • Dubious career prospects.

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1 Comment

  1. Terri Rommel-Ruiz

    If our third child had a role model like Grinnella, they might be headed to Grinnell instead of Colorado College.

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