Author: B&S Staff

By Catherine Terelak

NOYCE SCIENCE CENTER – With tough talk flying from both sides of the proverbial aisle, everyone is going crazy in today’s political climate. Cody, the only boy in your GWSS class, is one of many feeling the pressure: “Lately, it seems like you’re supposed to be an omni-sexual Marxist or an oil baron/backchannel arms dealer, and there’s no in-between.” 

Most Americans are solving the problem of political affiliation by slipping out of their meat suits and sliding into the warm caverns of CyberSpace, where they can play Brain Games and collect NFTs to purchase a political identity, but some are detaching wholesale from the hyper-polarized mainstream—these radical moderates are calling themselves the Alt-Center.

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By Carter Otelle

GRINNELL, IA—This past week, Grinnell College announced via Student Campus Memo that Liz Truss, the ex-Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, has been hired as the College’s endowment manager. Per the memo, the newly-created position will give Truss unilateral decision-making power over the institution’s $3.4 billion endowment, as well as veto power on the NCAA D-III Security Council.

Truss achieved international notoriety for her brief stint as Prime Minister. Staying for only six weeks, it represents the shortest term for any Prime Minister in UK history. Her term was marked by legislative stagnation, economic instability, the death of Queen Elizabeth II, and a conspicuous crouton shortage in Wales. Per one tweet posted by an unverified Twitter account and reposted by a misinformation account on Instagram, “[Truss] came, she killed the queen, she crashed the pound, and she left.”

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