By Catherine Terelak

CRSSJ PRAYER GARAGE—After drawing criticism from local Jewish and Indigenous communities for her recent Purim Powwow Interfaith Jamboree, Grinnell’s new associate chaplain Reverend Polyester Decrease is on a mission to reassert her position as the number one peacebuilder and bridgemaker on campus. In another exclusive interview frantically arranged by her PR team of therapy dogs, Reverend Decrease describes the recent failure of her Adored Fellowship Bible Study and her exciting plans to re-envision the program. 

B&S: Hello, Reverend Decrease. 

PD: Shabbat Shalom, and as the Meskwaki would say, kemenwipemâtethi? 

B&S: Âwathikenâchi kîhthâkiwâtowe. 

[beat]

B&S: Ok, so can you tell us about your original vision for the Adored Fellowship Bible Study? 

PD: Thank you so much for that question. I’m holding it in my head- and heartspace and manifesting a response. 

I suppose I wanted to create space for those who believe or don’t believe in Jesus to discuss ways to live out or not live out His teachings and word. Especially in this political climate, it’s important for believers and non-believers—and people who don’t know whether or not they believe in Jesus or anything at all, as such is their prerogative and indeed the journey of life—to know that they’re held and loved in this community of faith or lack thereof. 

B&S: And what was the turnout like at the first meeting?

PD: Hmm. Can I offer a reframe that might change that question?

B&S: Sure. 

PD: Well, first, just a minor thing: we should all be making an effort not to say the word “turnout,” because it’s derived from a classist term used to describe gatherings among the working poor, which itself is related to an older ableist term that referred to meetings among persons of “turned-out” experience—what we would today call “people with mental illness” or “people who ingest reality-altering substances”. Even if we don’t mean to, we’re still contributing to a system of injustice that forces some people to live in their “white liberal bubbles” and others to live out on the street. 

B&S: Sorry—I won’t say it again. 

PD: That’s okay! We’re all learning. Would you like me to send you some literature about how to sound less like a piece of shit? 

B&S: Oh—Um, you wouldn’t know this, but being a piece of shit is actually a really important part of who I am. My mom is a piece of shit, my dad is a piece of shit, my grandparents and all my aunts and uncles are pieces of shit. My brother is a douchebag, which is the lacrosse community’s way of referring to a piece of shit. Every Shitsgiving, Shitsmas, and St. Patshit’s Day, we get wasted and express our vilest, most bigoted thoughts until someone vomits, cries, or has a heart attack. 

PD: Wow, I didn’t know that about you. I guess that’s one of my blind spots. In my peacebuilder and bridgemaker work, I don’t often encounter pieces of shit. 

B&S: Actually, I’m going to stop you there. “Piece of shit” is an in-community way of referring to ourselves. People who don’t identify as pieces of shit should call us “people who are pieces of shit” or “members of the piece of shit community.” I can’t blame you for calling me a piece of shit because that was how I introduced myself, but I just want you to know how offensive it might be if you called a different piece of shit a piece of shit. 

PD: Oh, my God/gods/Lack thereof—I am so sorry. 

B&S: It’s okay! I’ve written a lot of great articles in the B&S about my perspective as a piece of shit if you want to use those as a resource. 

PD: I definitely will. I’m always learning. I have no idea what I believe until I learn what the person I’m talking to believes in. 

… 

B&S: So not a lot of people showed up to the Adored Fellowship Bible Study, is what my sources are telling me. 

PD: Yes, but there’s a wide variety of factors that might affect group attendance of a community event. See how easy it was to be inclusive? 

B&S: Mmhm. 

PD: But for some people living through this unprecedented moment in history, self-care might not look like going to the Adored Fellowship Bible Study. A person who is a piece of shit, for example, might get more out of rotting in bed, watching eight hours of British weight loss TV, or ripping a cig outside the HSSC. I also understand that interfaith/lack thereof spaces can be really complicated for people. A piece of shit—sorry: a member of the piece of shit community—might see someone like me, a female-presenting member of the clergy wearing sandals and a shiny purple scarf, and immediately think of a time when they were made to feel like an unrepentant fascist for their totally normal usage of common language. 

B&S: I could totally see how that would be true. Is there anything you’re doing to reach out to pieces of shit? 

PD: Ever since I started at Grinnell, I’ve been doing a lot of internal work about how oppressive it is for any person of faith/lack thereof to impose their beliefs on others, especially a faith/lack thereof leader. After praying and/or actually just thinking about it, I realized it was wrong of me to thrust my neoliberal ideas about dialogue and social justice on a generation steeped in accelerationist, transhuman, technofascist brainrot. For this reason, I’ve decided to put a pause on my peacebuilding and bridgemaking work in order to hold space for the new generation’s religion: hateful individualism. So if you’re a cruel, antisocial member of the piece of shit community, I urge you to join me in the CRSSJ on Wednesday afternoons at 4:15 to learn about political echo chambers, taking everything literally, losing your sense of humor and ability to be sincere, defeating your cultural enemies, and detaching from reality and your social obligations. Whew. Spiel over. Can I count on seeing you there?

B&S: Sorry, but I’m a Catholic and that sometimes overrides my identity as a piece of shit. 

PD: Oh well, then. Your dual identity is valid. Maybe in the future, we can brainstorm peacebuilding events to help lay bridges between the Catholic and pieces of shit communities.

B&S: Thank you. Or as the Meskwaki would say, kewâwiyâmene.